4 Calling Birds

            This past Saturday I completed a program that two years ago I said I could NEVER do.  I started following/reading/learning about the 75Hard program in February of 2020.  (If you have never heard of what I am talking about you can read more here.)  At first thought, when reading through the 5 rules you have to follow, I immediately said, “there’s no way.”  The thing that scared me the most was the no alcohol.  Exercise was already a major part of my life.  I drank a lot of water and I loved to read.  But I honestly thought there was just no way I could give up alcohol for 75 days.  I kept following a long and reading and learning from people who had completed the program.  I became more and more intrigued.  I even created my “own version” of the program (I learned later that a lot of people do this).  So I set a goal to exercise every day for 100 days, read every day, and try to limit my drinks per week.  I accomplished this but knew that it was not even close to doing the real thing.  So this past October I decided that I was going to attempt to complete this before I turned 40.  There are almost exactly 75 days between Kenny’s birthday and my birthday so that seemed like the perfect time.  The only issue is it did not leave any room for error or for me to start over if I failed.  I planned and prepped.  Joined all the groups and read and took people’s advice who had completed it.  Told my close friends and family.  My attitude going in was that I was going to take it one day at a time and go as far as I could go.  Well…I did it!  If you want to read more about how I went about completing the 5 tasks everyday you can read more details below!  But I will leave the good stuff here.  My before and after photos and my stats.  My starting weight was 141.  My ending weight was 130.  I lost 8 inches from day 38 to day 75 (I forgot to take measurements on day 1…yes that was a major mistake on my part…but taking measurements is not a requirement of the program). 

1.  Drink a gallon of water a day.  I thought this would be pretty easy for me.  I carry my hydro flask everywhere I go.  I bought a gallon sized jug and I would fill it up every night before bed (I would fill it from our fridge where the water comes out in a slow stream…it took me about 3 minutes to fill it up…yes I timed it…it was so annoying but I knew if I didn’t fill it up before I went to bed I could forget in the morning so this was something I stuck with).  I would fill up my hydro flask from the gallon jug so I could measure and know when I drank the entire gallon.  I definitely had nights where I would forget to drink water throughout the day and have to chug a bunch of water before bed.  That sucked. 

1. Follow a diet.  Prior to 75hard I was already following a vegan/plant-based/gluten free diet (have been for years) but I was also eating my weight in French fries on a weekly basis.  Also potato chips.  Because those are vegan and gluten free.  I also ate a lot of gluten free oreos and dairy free ice cream.  While my diet seemed healthy because I was eating A LOT of fruits and vegetables…I was also eating A LOT of junk.  So for my diet I stuck to my vegan/plant-based/gluten free diet but eliminated all those things.  Once I got going I realized how much harder this was than I thought it would be.  I had given up alcohol 4 other times in my life (during pregnancy) I have never in my entire life gone this long without French fries and BBQ chips. 
2. 2 45 minute workouts.  One must be outside and they must be 3-4 hours a part.  Like I said before exercise was already a major part of my life.  I basically worked out every day already.  If you listen to Andy Frisella’s podcast or read his book, he explains that he makes the rules this way so that it is inconvenient.  It would be much easier to do one longer workout or to do the workouts back to back.  There were days when I had to do a workout at 9:30-10:00 at night.  There were days I had to go for walk at night after my kids went to bed.  I tried to do one strength training workout and make my second one a cardio of some sort (a run, a walk with my weighted vest, running hills, etc.)  We happen to pay for BOD so I did some programs on there.  I will say that going into this I planned to workout in my garage and leave the door open and have that count as my outdoor workout.  The rules are pretty clear that that does not count.  You cannot workout in a pavilion or a garage.  I kept true to the program and always worked out outside no matter what the weather was like.  There was day where I met my friends at the parking garage for a workout.  We ran steps and the ramps.  I worked out for over an hour and burned over 500 calories.   It was snowing and windy and freezing.  But when I got home I knew that couldn’t count as my outdoor workout.  So 3 hours later I bundled up, put on my weighted vest, and did a 45 minute walk. 

1. Read 10 pages.  Again, I like to read so I really thought this would be easy.  One piece of advice I read was to have your books selected and ready to go before you start.  You really never know when you’re going to finish a book and people have said they have failed because they didn’t have their next book ready and waiting.  If you know me you know that my faith is front and center in my life.  I wanted to use this program as an opportunity to grow that.  I also did my reading first thing in the morning.  I typically like to read at night before bed.  But once again, I read about people failing because they fell asleep while reading!  I was not about to let this happen! 

1. Take a progress picture every day.  Andy explains his reasoning behind this rule.  You can listen to his podcast or read his book to better understand.  This was another task that I completed right when I woke up.  It was one of the first things I did.  Again, I was not about to leave this for the end of the day and risk forgetting!  You wouldn’t believe how many people fail because they forget to take a picture!

I finished two days ago I am still mentally processing what I just did.  I am trying to figure out next steps.  I am trying to embrace what my new normal might be.  All a long people say this program changes you.  I honestly did not believe that.  I wanted to get in great shape and be really healthy before I turned 40.  I was hoping to feel the best I have ever felt physically.  I had no idea I would feel the best I have ever felt physically, emotionally, and mentally.  If you are thinking or considering doing this I would encourage you to listen to the podcast, read the book, follow people who have completed it.  The last thing I will say is this is NOT a weight loss program.  There are 1000 easier ways to lose weight! 

Which transition was the hardest?

Having 4 kids, I get asked this question a lot.  Mostly by moms who are expecting their second child.  It’s usually during this time that we (moms) start to think about what life is going to be like juggling more than one.  We knew we wanted a couple kids but now that it is happening we begin to panic.  What do we do with the first one while we’re feeding, changing diapers, how will we EVER take two children to Target?!?! (The first time I did this I seriously felt like I had conquered the world btw).  I had these same emotions when I was pregnant with my second…so I spent a few months of my pregnancy conducting some research.  I’m talking real measurable data.  Just kidding.  Who has the time or brain capacity for that when they are pregnant?  I did make it a point to ask every mom/dad/grandparent I spoke with this same question…which transition was hardest?  One to two, two to three, three to four?  I didn’t meet very many people who had more than four.  Although I did buy a used Phil&Teds stroller from a mom of 7 off craigslist and I asked her this question too (I also knew Phil&Teds make the best strollers if a mom of 7 used one).  When I said every person I met….I mean every person I met.  In line at Starbucks, our server at a restaurant, the nurse at my OB’s office.  People love to chat with pregnant women and if you were going to start a conversation with me I was going to include you in my poll.  I really should have made this formal and kept track of everyone’s responses.  Maybe it could have been published in a medical journal.  I must have asked over a hundred people. 

            Here were some popular responses.  Most people (who I spoke with in the DC/Metro area) said that the transition from one to two was the hardest.  They said figuring out how to juggle more than one was the most challenging regardless of the age difference.  Several people also said that once they were outnumbered it was all the same.  Some mentioned that it was hardest going from one to two if the gender wasn’t the same (boy then a girl or girl then a boy).  While I truly believe that girls are very different from boys…even as babies…I am not sure if there is any scientific reason for this to sentiment to be true.  Based on all this “data” I really braced myself for having two children.  I thought it was going to be a nightmare and I did my best to prepare myself for pure chaos.  You know what?  It wasn’t that bad.  My second (Kai) was actually the easiest baby on the planet.  Ask some of my friends who remember him as a baby and they’ll agree.  He slept 12 hours straight one week home from the hospital.  I’ll never forget waking up panicked in my milk-soaked nursing tank. 

            So now that I have 4 children (exactly two years between the first three and four years between the third and fourth…boy, boy, girl, girl) I will give you my very unpopular and unique opinion.  I will tell you what I would say to the pregnant mom at the playground exhaustedly watching her three year old burn off some energy.  I don’t think the hardest transition is one to two, or two to three, or three to four.  I don’t think life gets exponentially harder with each child (more expensive yes…but harder no).  And I can feel my husband clenching up and nodding in disagreement as I type this.  I think that the hardest transition is no kids to kids.  Period.  I think your life is completely uprooted…everything you thought you knew about babies/children/parenthood goes out the window when you find yourself navigating those first few months/years as parents.  You can no longer be selfish (not even a little).  You have to check with someone else and on someone else before you can take a quick nap, meet a friend for lunch, or go for a run.  All that remains true whether you have one kid or ten.  I think my husband and I went from being the indignant people on the plane rolling our eyes at the parent’s of the crying baby to being the parents of the crying baby.  I think we used to go to restaurants at 7:30 for dinner and now we go at 5:00.  I think we went from hanging out at the adult only pools to being banished from them.  Places/activities/homes are either kid-friendly or they’re not.  I sit near the play area at Chic-fil-a if I am there with one kid or four.  I know most of the world would disagree and that is okay.  I just believe that once I changed my life to make room for one child…adding a few more didn’t change much.  Don’t let any transition scare you…and don’t look at the mom of 5 kids and think she must have some sort of super power you don’t have because you have 2.  It’s all hard. But wonderful.

The summer that Kaeden turned 5 I spent a lot of time prepping and planning to homeschool.  We had formally made the decision and I wanted to be ready.  I remember sending out an email to all my friends who were currently homeschooling and I asked them if they had advice or words of wisdom for me before I jumped into the deep end.  The number one piece of advice I received is that “homeschooling does not look like public school.”  To be honest, I didn’t really know what that meant.  I had 8 years of public school teaching under my belt and attended public school for 13 years so I obviously knew what public school looked like.  It really wasn’t until my second or third year homeschooling that I finally understood what my friends meant by that comment.

            So with that said, this is what our homeschool day looks like and they were right.  It doesn’t look anything like public school!

The number one piece of advice I received was that homeschooling does not look like public school.

            My three school aged kids are all 2 years a part (exactly).  We are able to cover a lot of subjects together as long as I can differentiate (thanks to my teaching background this is pretty easy for me)!  I gather my kids to our school room (which is our formal dining room…a room that never really got much use but was beautiful to look at)!  We do our memory work, history chapters, science, geography and read aloud together.  My kids typically draw, write, play with play dough, build with blocks or Legos while we listen to our songs and I read to them.  Kaeden, my oldest, has to work on memorizing the name and locations of the countries we are studying, Kai only has to memorize the region, and London is just working on being able to identify the continent.  This is just an example of how we differentiate for Geography.  Another easy example is when we gather to read our history chapters.  After we read together, Kaeden (middle school) is required to write a one-page summary of the chapter, Kai (fourth grade) is required to write one paragraph, and London (second grade) is required to write 1-2 sentences about something she remembers.  It is really no extra work for me and it allows us to do these activities together.  People ask me how we manage to do these subjects together and this is the gist. 

            There are LOTS of breaks and snacks mixed into this time because my children can’t possibly work for more than 25-30 minutes before needing a break and a granola bar.  We are typically able to finish up this portion of our work before lunch.  After lunch is when it gets a little tricky for me.  This is when we cover reading, writing, math, vocabulary, and spelling.  Obviously my second grader, fourth grader, and sixth grader can’t do all these subjects together.  My kids split up and I give them the tasks they can do independently while I work with each of them one on one.  There are lots of “Mommy I need your help!” being shouted from every room.  Lani (my three year old) is wondering around and whining for something.  I say “One minute” about 72 times per minute…which shouldn’t be possible but it is.  But somehow over the course of 2 hours or so (again with lots of breaks and snacks) we somehow manage to finish by 4:00 (that’s because we are finished at 4:00 regardless of what work was or needs to be completed). 

            We have lots of other activities that fill up our school week.  We have piano lessons on Tuesdays, we are always enrolled in some special class through our county’s parks and rec program.  Currently it’s a homeschool nature study class which my boys love!  We see homeschool friends along the way and we always manage to see our public school friends at least one evening during the week.  Our curriculum requires a 4 day plan which always leaves me one day for fun stuff (like art lessons) or to play catch up (if there is a random warm day in February we don’t stay inside and do school work…we plan an impromptu picnic or playground visit)!  We go on 1-2 field trips per month (it could be more if I was better at planning them.  Thankfully I have good friends who are great at this and they invite us a long!)  We take off school the week of Halloween, the week of Thanksgiving, 2-3 weeks at Christmas and the week of “mommy is tired.” 

            So there you have it.  Our homeschool life in a nut shell.  My children have come to love this lifestyle and so have I.  It gives us freedom, flexibility, time together, and I don’t have to leave my house before 9:00 in the freezing cold if I don’t want to…unless I already RSVP’d and paid for the field trip to Baltimore that Megan planned.  My friends were so right.  Homeschooling looks nothing like public school.  But we are okay with that.

I get this question often.  It comes from all types of people.  Close friends and family.  Acquaintances.  Random grandmothers at target.  Most people are generally curious and respond with “You must have so much patience.  I could never do it!”  (That’s not true btw but I’ll discuss that at another time).  To which I laugh, “Hardly!  I am most likely ruining their lives but hopefully it’s nothing a little therapy won’t fix.”  To the random people I meet when we are out and about I do not feel the need to go into any type of explanation as to why I choose to keep my four children with me during the day when I could send them off on that beautiful yellow bus every morning and have some time to myself (not really….my husband would eventually insist that I get a J. O. B. that actually pays in real dollars and cents and not kisses and hugs).  But every once in a while I feel the need to explain the real reason and help people I care about understand why we started this homeschooling journey. 

Most people make the assumption that if I am keeping my kids at home that I must think public school is the devil and you don’t really love your children if you send them to that dreaded place.  False.

First, let’s get one thing straight.  I have no issues with public school.  It’s not perfect but neither is homeschooling.  I am a former teacher and taught first, third, fifth and was a reading specialist for grades K through 5.  Most people make the assumption that if I am keeping my kids at home that I must think public school is the devil and you don’t really love your children if you send them to that dreaded place.  False.  I am a product of public school and before having children I felt personally victimized by anyone who chose to homeschool their kids (my sister included!)  The truth is public school offers kids a lot of opportunities that homeschooling does not.  When my oldest was approaching kindergarten I started to really think about homeschooling as an option.  I had a few close friends and my own sister who were all choosing to homeschool their kids.  Plus I had the benefit of being a former teacher!  If I can teach 27 first graders I can surely teach my one child at home right?  This is not how it works btw and I appreciate all my friends who let me live in ignorance for a few short months before I realized that somehow teaching your ONE child is harder than teaching 27.  No the math does not add up but it’s true.  I promise.

The only reason I actually chose homeschooling at all is because when my then 5 year old would have started Kindergarten we happened to be house hunting.  We knew we were not going to buy a house in the school district we were currently living in and rather than have my son start in one school and have to be pulled out and moved it was easier at the time to just homeschool him.  This was a probationary period for my husband really.  He was skeptical and wanted to see how it went before really being on board with the idea. 

So why did I ultimately choose to try homeschooling?  Because I had a rambuxous little boy at home who had a hard time sitting still and focusing.  Because that little boy had already been demonstrating some characteristics of ADHD.  Because I knew from personal experience that teachers are overworked and class sizes are always too big and private school was not an option for us.  Because even if I could get my son a diagnosis and an IEP I knew that if he struggled for a few years he might start to resent school and learning.  But mostly because I could.  I had the option to try.  And that is all I have been doing for the last 7 years.  This does not mean we will homeschool forever.  This means I take it one year at a time and try to truly decide what is best for each of my kids.  So far it has been working (I think anyway…I probably really am ruining their lives because I don’t know what I am doing).  If I felt like one or all of them would do better in public school then I would send them.  If financially I needed to go to work full time and homeschooling was no longer an option then I would send them.  If my daughter cries again because I asked her to spell her name L O N D O N and not L O O N N D then I will send her…I mean them. 

If you have the option and the desire to try homeschooling get more information and talk to people who have done it.  It doesn’t have to be scary or seem impossible.  And you don’t have to have a lot of patience.  Just a lot of wine…

Hi there! My name is Laura Takata and I am a homeschooling mom of four! We currently live in Bel Air, Maryland which is about thirty minutes north of Baltimore. I love Jesus, my family, making memories with my friends and family, and being active. Our children are Kaeden (11), Kai (9), London (7), and Lani (3). My husband and I have been married for 16 years. The first 8 years of our marriage we lived in Manassas, Virginia which is outside of DC. We moved back to Maryland shortly after we had our second son in 2012.

I started homeschooling when Kaeden was 5. Prior to staying home with my kids, I was an elementary school teacher and then a reading specialist. Teaching struggling emerging elementary readers is my area of expertise. My husband Kenny has been working remote since 2018 (pre-Covid) so between him working from home and homeschooling, we are all 6 home together most days! It can get a little chaotic around here!

Thank you for following along! My hope is that you would be encouraged , reminded that you are loved, and maybe have a laugh at my expense!

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“Having somewhere to go is called a home. Having someone to love is called a family. Having both is a blessing.”